Pastorsí book affirms healthy sexual relationships, even outside marriage Posted 6/29/01 by Aaron Tinklenberg Staff Writer Sometimes, when you believe something to be true, you have to stick your neck on the line to say it. Lowell Erdahl, former pastor at Farmington Lutheran Church, did just that this February when he released the book ìSexual Fulfillment for Single and Married, Straight and Gay, Young and Old.î Co-authored by Herbert W. Chilstrom, also a retired Lutheran pastor, the book discusses some of the most controversial topics in the Christian community, including sex outside of marriage, gay relationships and masturbation. More to the point, Erdahl and Chilstrom affirm those relationships that are faithful and committed, referred to by Erdahl as the ìmoral and emotional equivalent to marriage,î regardless of actual marital status or heterosexuality. ìWe combine traditional conservative views on love and faithfulness and commitment with a new look at some of the issues of sexuality,î said Erdahl, who referred to himself as a conservative realist. ìWe think we can defend those views from a Christian standpoint.î In the book, the authors distinguish between ìlife-giving sexî and ìlife-degrading sex.î They establish criteria for a healthy relationship, and with a compassionate tone, discuss healthy sexuality in a variety of relationships. ìWe are hopeful that the people listed in the title will find some affirmation,î Erdahl said. Not surprisingly, Erdahl has faced some serious opposition to the views expressed in the book from colleagues and other church members. Some Christian book stores have even refused to carry the book. Still, the reaction has not been entirely negative. ìThere has been a little backlash,î he said. ìIíve received letters of shock from people who said theyíve lost a lot of respect for me. But (when on a speaking tour) Iíve had a lot of respectful conversations with people as well.î Erdahl readily admits he once had different opinions on many of the topics discussed in his book, particularly gay relationships. But, after hearing the testimony of gay and lesbian Christians, he said he took a new look at specific Bible passages and drew new conclusions. ìI believe much of the text that is used to condemn gay relationships is applicable to heterosexuals as well as homosexuals,î Erdahl said. ìItís not speaking about persons who are in faithful and committed relationships. These should be recognized and affirmed.î Similarly, Erdahl and Chilstrom affirm healthy, committed sexual relationships between single people. At the same time, they encourage people who have that kind of relationship to get married. ìI think marriage is a gift, not a burden,î Erdahl said. ìI think being married gives the relationship a better chance to make it through rough times.î Erdahl said he hopes the book removes some misunderstandings about human sexuality while affirming the basic concepts of love and commitment. ìWe think Godís on the side of life,î he said, ìand he wants us to have fulfillment in all areas, including sex.î The book, published by Augsburg Fortress, can be found at many Christian book stores or can be ordered at the Web site www.augsburgfortress.org. ©Thisweek Newspapers